6 TRUE ROMANCE BY DAVE CARLEY CAST (IN ORDER

254 RENÚNCIA FRANCISCO CÂNDIDO XAVIER ROMANCE DITADO PELO ESPÍRITO
6 ROMANCE (POESÍA) (INFORMACIÓN TOMADA DE WIKIPEDIA LA ENCICLOPEDIA
6 TRUE ROMANCE BY DAVE CARLEY CAST (IN ORDER

A DEPARTMENT OF GERMANIC AND ROMANCE STUDIES
A LINGUA O GALEGO IDIOMA ROMANCE DERIVADO DO LATÍN
ADMINISTRATIVE LAW IN CONTEXT CHAPTER 9 A FINE ROMANCE?

Really True Romance

6


True Romance

By Dave Carley


Cast (in order of appearance):

Erin – a tired single mother

Carlton Sherbourne – a wannabe romancer

Mike – a plumber


Setting:

The romance fiction section of the Toronto Public Library

Synopsis:

Erin makes a quick stop at the library on her way home to pick up a little light reading. She might have a few minutes to herself (and her fantasies) after she's put the kids to bed and done a million other chores. But just when she thinks she's found the perfect romance title, Carlton Sherbourne appears from somewhere in the stacks. Carlton is prepared to sweep Erin off her exhausted feet, but Erin has more realistic dreams...


True Romance


ERIN arrives and goes over to the Romance Fiction section. She may have bags that suggest motherhood (diapers e.g). She looks tired. She begins taking books off the shelf or library cart.


ERIN: (Reads Title.) Read it. (Title.) Read it too dirty. (Title.) Read it too clean. (Title.) Read it, totally implausible. (She pulls out one and holds it up. On the cover is Carlton Sherbourne. Important that the audience see the cover as best as possible.) ‘Unrestrained Passion in Toronto’? Passion in Toronto, hah, there’s a fantasy, I wonder who this Carlton Sherbourne is

(ERIN opens the novel and is just about start reading when there might be a bit of Barry White type music, or not, and then CARLTON walks around the side of the bookshelf or rises from behind the book cart. He is dressed the same as the guy on the cover of ‘Uncontrolled Passion in Toronto’. He waits expectantly but ERIN doesn’t notice him; she’s begun reading the book – holding it up so audience can see cover, of course. CARLTON may primp and preen a bit, adjust his shirt, unbutton a few more buttons maybe, then finally he clears his throat. ERIN turns, sees him, jumps a bit.)

CARLTON: Come here often?

ERIN: (Pauses long enough to take in both Carlton and the horribleness of the line – and also that she’s been caught with her nose in a romance novel.) Well yes I mean no first time here at the library yeah OK all the time but

CARLTON: I understand. (Holding out hand.) Carlton. Sherbourne.

ERIN: Erin. Where did you come from?

CARLTON: Where does any romantic hero come from?

ERIN: But there was no one here a second ago.

CARLTON: (Just a little impatient that she hasn’t jumped into his arms already.) OK, I was standing back there. (Recovering poise.) I see you’ve picked up a copy of ‘Unrestrained Passion in Toronto’.

ERIN: Yes, it was shelved there (Looks at cover, back at Carlton. A double take or triple if she can get away with it.) Hey.

CARLTON: Yes.

ERIN: That’s –

CARLTON: That is indeed me on the cover.

ERIN: What did you say your name was?

CARLTON: Carlton. Sherbourne.

ERIN: But that’s the author of – this actually looks – is this self-published?

CARLTON: What’s wrong with that?

ERIN: Nothing/

CARLTON: All sorts of people self publish. The Wealthy Barber has sold millions.

ERIN: Oh I admire it, I just don’t know where people get the energy.

CARLTON: Oh baby I’ve got energy.

ERIN: (Maybe just mouths this to audience. “Ew”). Well, congratulations, that’s quite an achievement/

CARLTON: And truth is, it’s was easy to write because it’s autobiographical. I was heir to a plantation in the West Indies. Mangos. But my half-brother somehow persuaded my father to disown me by putting a coat of hair over him, simulating my manly hirsute appearance. And then I was to have an arranged marriage to a plantation heiress. Pomegranates, nature’s wonder fruit. But all the virgins on the island had been ravished by my half-brother and had sunk into depravity. So I came to Toronto to seek love precious love. (Seeing this is not necessarily impressing her) I’m also an undercover Mounted Policeman. (Horse sound.) That’s my horse, Trigger Alert. (Still trying.) And I’m vegan?

ERIN: Well, it was nice to meet you but I’ve got to get home and/

CARLTON: Wait. Could I give you a lift? On my steed.

ERIN: Thanks but my Mom’s babysitting and I’m late already and/

CARLTON: Erin.

ERIN: (Leaving, stops.) Yes?

CARLTON: Coffee?

ERIN: No really – but thank you. Honestly. I don’t often get – authors – asking me out and, well thanks but I’m sure you’re a nice guy but you’re not really my type.

CARLTON: But you were reading my book -

ERIN: I read books but I don’t want to live them. I’m a single mom. Two kids, 5 and 2. A demanding job that doesn’t pay enough. I’m always tired. I really, really don’t have the energy. By the time I’ve put the kids to bed and tried one more time to fix the leaky bloody tap in the kitchen all I have left is a bit of energy to read something light … sorry.

CARLTON: Scotland. 1840. You’ve been thrown out of your humble cottage by the evil English lord. You need protection from a man who looks bonnie fine in a kilt.

ERIN: Actually, a good sleep would be mighty fine. Eight hours.

CARLTON: I should have worn my kilt right.

ERIN: Um no. And the shirt, I mean, Carlton. Shirts have buttons for a reason.

(CARLTON begins fumbling with his buttons.)

And truth is: I’m not into the chest-rug thing.

(CARLTON rips his chest wig off. It’s a bit painful.)

And the Fabio hair

(CARLTON throws his wig off)

And Carlton - the pants, honestly –

(CARLTON pulls a sock or two out of his crotch.)

But thanks for the offer of coffee

(MIKE the Plumber appears. Standard plumber gear, pants maybe down a bit at the back, carrying plunger.)

MIKE: Hey – is this strange dude bothering you?

ERIN: No, it’s OK/

CARLTON: You calling me strange?

MIKE: You’re strange.

CARLTON: This from a man carrying a plunger in a library?

MIKE: It sounds like you’re hitting on her and pal, this is a public library

CARLTON: I am a published author. Self-published but that’s completely acceptable nowadays.

MIKE: Well excuuuse me. I’m just a lowly plumber. But I know how to behave in a library and when a woman doesn’t want to be bothered.

ERIN: Did you say – plumber?

(MUSIC welling up. Romance.)

MIKE: I have the library contract.

ERIN: How are you with leaky faucets?

MIKE: Very good.

ERIN: Plugged drains?

MIKE: Even better.

ERIN: So that plunger?

MIKE: I’m never without it. Or my snake.

ERIN: A plumber…

CARLTON: I’m a heart surgeon when I’m not building habitat for humanity homes.

ERIN: Hush. (Back to MIKE.) Do you make house calls because I’ve been phoning for a plumber for days they all say they’ll come over but they never do it’s just hollow promises it’s so typical of men I mean plumbers/

MIKE: Well I’m not typical and yeah I make house calls. Evenings.

ERIN: If I gave you my number. (Starts writing it out.)

CARLTON: I dry-walled my castle.

ERIN: (Hands over card.) Oh, this is my lucky day.

MIKE: Erin. (Hands her his card.)

ERIN: (Reads.) Michael or Mike?

MIKE: Just plain Mike.

CARLTON: Call me ‘Carl’. Or ‘Ton’.

ERIN: Well I better get home. Nice to meet you Mike. (Starts to leave; turns.) Sorry. I’ve gotta be sure. (Walks back to MIKE and grabs his hair. It doesn’t come off, MIKE screams.) Sorry. A girl can’t be too careful.

(ERIN exits, leaving CARLTON and MIKE watching her go; the latter might be rubbing his head a bit and the former nurses his wounded pride.)

CARLTON: (Mournfully.) She seemed really nice. Smart. Hard-working. Pretty.

MIKE: Yeah.

CARLTON: She’s exactly the kind of woman I fantasize about.

MIKE: You think maybe you’re going about it the wrong way?

CARLTON: The wig?

MIKE: The whole persona. What do you really do – in real life?

CARLTON: Hedge Fund Manager.

MIKE: Dude, you need to do something useful.

CARLTON: Yeah?

MIKE: But you’re in the right place. Come with me.

CARLTON: Where we going.

MIKE: The Library has a great ‘Do it Yourself’ section. We’ll get you some books on plumbing, dry-walling, whatever - You can take them home, see what appeals

(Leading him off.)

And then, after you’ve done your research, you can come back here – use the computers to access job information, the librarians can help you and

(Exits.)

CARLTON: Just a sec.

(CARLTON runs back with his book. Holds it out to a woman in the audience. She’s not taking.)

No. Ma’am? (To another.) No? (Maybe.) OK.

(CARLTON places his book back on the shelf.)

Electrician it is. Yeah. Carlton Sherbourne. Electrician. (Brightens.) Cuz baby, you got the spark and I’ve got the plug.

(Leaving.)

No, I’ve got the spark and you’ve got the plug… Wait up, Mike…

(Exits.)

The End





ANÁLISIS DEL ROMANCE DE LA LUNA LUNA DE FEDERICO
ANTOLOGÍA DE ROMANCES LOS ROMANCES FRONTERIZOS Y MORISCOS NARRAN
ANTOLOGÍA DE ROMANCES MEDIEVALES IES VALADARES 3º ESO


Tags: carley cast, carley, order, romance