With Children

• Greet every child by name upon arrival.

• Show children that you are happy they are there.

• Smile at children.

• Joke and laugh with children.

• Pay attention to each child.

• Learn and remember personal information about children and use this information in your conversations with them.

• Give one-on-one positive attention.

• Know what interests each child and talk to the child about that interest.

• Respect each child’s approach to situations and people.

• Don’t be afraid to be wrong and talk with children about it.

• Talk to the child seriously when the topic is serous or important to the child.

• Tell children what makes you feel happy and sad and ask them to respect your feelings.

• Ask children to tell you what makes them happy and sad and respect their feelings.

• Follow a child’s lead during play.

• Have a conversation over snack.

• Play a game with a child.

• Play outside with a child.

• Hold a child’s hand.

• Give hugs, pats, handshakes, and high fives.

• Find a few minutes and have an “I Love You” ritual with child.

• Call family to say what a great day child had in front of child.

• Acknowledge a child’s effort.

• Praise and encouragement.

• Give compliments liberally.

• Use a pleasant tone of voice.

• Share information about yourself and find something in common.

• Speak to children at their eye level.

• Listen to a child’s ideas and stories and be an appreciative audience.

• Ask children to bring in family photos and give opportunity to share.

• Show respect for children’s cultural, linguistic, and religious beliefs.

• Speak respectfully about children’s families.

• Make “All About Me” books and share at circle time.

• Display children’s work.

• Have a “star” of the week that brings in special things from home and gets to share during circle time.

• Have sharing days.

• Find out a child’s favorite book and read it to the whole class.

• Write all of the special things about a child on a T-shirt and let them wear it around.

• Ride the bus with a child.

• Go to an extracurricular activity with a child.

• Learn a child’s home language.

• Give hugs, high fives and thumbs-up for accomplishing tasks.

• Call a child after a bad day and say “I’m sorry we had a bad day today – I know tomorrow is going to be better!”

• Tell a child how much they were missed when they miss a day of school or write a note for their cubby when they return.

• Respond to children consistently.

• Spend time with children doing what they love to do.

• Give children genuine choices and assist them in following through with their choices.

• Listen to and respond appropriate to children’s questions.

• Show respect for children’s cultural, linguistic, and religious beliefs.

• Reframe negative thoughts and statements into positive ones.

Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, 2006

Practical Strategies for Building Positive Relationships

With Families

• Send interest surveys to families to complete about their child.

• Make home visits.

• Build on family strengths.

• Send positive notes home.

• Send letters home written in child’s voice.

• Make positive phone calls to families.

• Call family to say what a great day child had in front of child.

• Share information about yourself and find something in common with the family.

• Greet families as they come into the room.

• Smile at families and make them feel welcome.

• Send newsletters that relate to expectations being taught.

• Collect stories from families and create newsletter to share.

• Listen to families’ ideas and be an appreciative audience.

• Learn a child’s home language.

• Use translators with non-English speaking families.

• Have notes and materials sent home translated into family’s language.

• Treat families with respect and empathy.

• Listen carefully to family’s concerns and help in addressing concerns.

• Provide written and pictorial information about child development.

• Have covered dish dinners for families.

• Encourage family nights with families planning the program.

• Have many opportunities for families to participate at home and center.

• Find out expectations families have of their children.

• Create a family welcome area.

• Show respect for families’ cultural, linguistic, and religious beliefs.

• Reframe negative thoughts and statements into positive ones.

Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, 2006

Practical Strategies for Building Positive Relationships

With Colleagues and Other Professionals

• Share information about yourself and find something in common with colleagues.

• Have clear roles and equal responsibilities.

• Use effective communication.

• Listen openly.

• Make good eye contact.

• Show colleagues you are happy to see them.

• Utilize existing resources.

• Address disagreements outside the classroom.

• Problem solve together.

• Build trust.

• Encourage teamwork.

• Acknowledge accomplishments.

• Treat others as you want to be treated.

• Respect other’s ideas.

• Say “thank you.”

• Model positive social skills and interactions.

• Find ways to show appreciation.

• Respond in a positive manner consistently.

• Smile, laugh, and express joy.

• View other colleagues and professionals as supports.

• Have monthly potluck dinners.

• Show respect for colleagues cultural, linguistic, and religious beliefs.

• Reframe negative thoughts and statements into positive ones.

Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, 2006

Social-Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (SEFEL): Positive Relationships and Supportive Environments

NC Early Learning Network