BRA SHOPPING
BY
LAURA PFIZENMAYER
CAST OF CHARACTERS
WANDA A 50 something woman looking for a bra.
SALESLADY A 30 something good looking sales clerk
At Rise: A lingerie store. Racks of bras which the SALESLADY is busily arranging. She has a tape measure around her neck. WANDA enters the store looking nervous.
SALESLADY
Welcome to Bras R Us! Can I help you?
WANDA
I hope so I need a bra and some new panties.
SALESLADY
Have you ever shopped with us before?
WANDA
No, a friend told me about you guys. She said you were “senior friendly”.
SALESLADY
We pride ourselves on having something for everybody.
WANDA
Good because I had a terrible experience at Victoria’s Secret.
SALESLADY
(Looking her up and down.)
I can imagine.
WANDA
They told me they didn’t have a single thing that would fit me and that I should try on line.
SALESLADY
I’ve heard that before.
WANDA
I used to buy all my underwear there. They sent me coupons for free panties. Now, they don’t want me any more. I’m the wrong demographic.
2.
SALESLADY
That is so sad. Don’t worry, we’ll have something here that will work for you. We have AA to O.
WANDA
O? Wow, I’d like to see one of those.
SALESLADY
(Pulls out a HUGE bra)
Lingerie for every body.
WANDA
They must be the size of watermelons.
SALESLADY
Watermelons on steroids.
WANDA
I could put my head in there.
SALESLADY
What size do you need?
WANDA
I’m not sure. Everything’s shifted. When I was 18 I was a double AA, after kids a C.
SALESLADY
We’ll need to measure.
WANDA
Can’t you just guess? You look like you have a trained eye.
SALESLADY
Guessing will get you a band that pulls and ugly back fat not to mention either saggy cups or boob spillage. Correct fit is everything.
WANDA
I suppose you’ll want to touch me.
SALESLADY
I’m a professional its my job but no worries.
(Pulls a pair of latex gloves out of her pocket and snaps them on)
Take your shirt off.
3.
WANDA
Out here?
SALESLADY
A little shy?
WANDA
I’m not an exhibitionist. Besides in the bra I’m wearing I’ve got the stretched band, back fat and sagging cups.
SALESLADY
That’s what the dressing room is for. (Points to dressing room) Shall we go, after we measure for the bra, I’ll measure for your new thongs.
PLAY ENDS
IMENA DOBITNIKA NAGRADA U NAGRADNOJ IGRI LOVE SHOPPING 2020
INTERNATIONAL AMMAN SUMMER SHOPPING FESTIVAL مهرجان صيف عمان الدولي
INVITATION TO QUOTE (ITQ) SHOPPING OF IT EQUIPMENT FOR
Tags: characters wanda, shopping, wanda, characters, laura, pfizenmayer