BRA SHOPPING BY LAURA PFIZENMAYER CAST OF CHARACTERS WANDA

10 CORSO COMO ONLINE STORE “ THE SLOW SHOPPING
A HAZARDBASED DURATION MODEL OF SHOPPING ACTIVITY WITH NONPARAMETRIC
BASES DEL SORTEO “DESCARGA Y DESCUBRE ONDA SHOPPING” CÁMARA

BRA SHOPPING BY LAURA PFIZENMAYER CAST OF CHARACTERS WANDA
COMUNICATO STAMPA DORNBIRN GENNAIO 2011 UN “CENTRO SHOPPING” DOVE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE HIGH PROFILE LITTLE ROCK SHOPPING CENTER


BRA SHOPPING

BY

LAURA PFIZENMAYER


CAST OF CHARACTERS


WANDA A 50 something woman looking for a bra.


SALESLADY A 30 something good looking sales clerk


At Rise: A lingerie store. Racks of bras which the SALESLADY is busily arranging. She has a tape measure around her neck. WANDA enters the store looking nervous.


SALESLADY

Welcome to Bras R Us! Can I help you?


WANDA

I hope so I need a bra and some new panties.


SALESLADY

Have you ever shopped with us before?


WANDA

No, a friend told me about you guys. She said you were “senior friendly”.


SALESLADY

We pride ourselves on having something for everybody.


WANDA

Good because I had a terrible experience at Victoria’s Secret.


SALESLADY

(Looking her up and down.)

I can imagine.


WANDA

They told me they didn’t have a single thing that would fit me and that I should try on line.


SALESLADY

I’ve heard that before.


WANDA

I used to buy all my underwear there. They sent me coupons for free panties. Now, they don’t want me any more. I’m the wrong demographic.


2.

SALESLADY

That is so sad. Don’t worry, we’ll have something here that will work for you. We have AA to O.


WANDA

O? Wow, I’d like to see one of those.


SALESLADY

(Pulls out a HUGE bra)

Lingerie for every body.


WANDA

They must be the size of watermelons.


SALESLADY

Watermelons on steroids.


WANDA

I could put my head in there.


SALESLADY

What size do you need?


WANDA

I’m not sure. Everything’s shifted. When I was 18 I was a double AA, after kids a C.


SALESLADY

We’ll need to measure.


WANDA

Can’t you just guess? You look like you have a trained eye.


SALESLADY

Guessing will get you a band that pulls and ugly back fat not to mention either saggy cups or boob spillage. Correct fit is everything.


WANDA

I suppose you’ll want to touch me.


SALESLADY

I’m a professional its my job but no worries.

(Pulls a pair of latex gloves out of her pocket and snaps them on)

Take your shirt off.



3.

WANDA

Out here?


SALESLADY

A little shy?


WANDA

I’m not an exhibitionist. Besides in the bra I’m wearing I’ve got the stretched band, back fat and sagging cups.


SALESLADY

That’s what the dressing room is for. (Points to dressing room) Shall we go, after we measure for the bra, I’ll measure for your new thongs.


PLAY ENDS




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